I have been fighting with a lot of anxiety lately......and it sucks! I just want to be able to wake up in the morning and NOT WORRY...about anything! but NOPE, that is not EVER going to happen for me. Some days are better than others, and today is a bad day.
I really wish that there was some magic pill that could take away all of the bad/hurtful things that have happened to me in my life. I hold on to SO much CRAP, and I can't seem to just let it go. I over analyze it, and wonder why?
Why did my mom walk out on us as kids?
Why does she live in such denial, and always blame ME for all of her problems?
Why do BOTH of my parents hate me so much?
Why doesn't anyone in my family care about me or my kids?
What is so wrong with me, that my own parents can't love me?
What is so special about my brother that makes them love him and not me?
Why can't they see what a good person I try to be?
Why DON'T they care???
Why the FUCK do I waste so much time, wanting things that I will NEVER have?
I just DON'T. UNDERSTAND.
I'm going to bed. I will try again tomorrow
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