This is my first attempt at this "blogging" thing, so please bare with me as I am still learning.
I am writing this blog in the hopes of helping others, as well as myself. I was diagnosed with Anxiety Disorder/Panic Attacks, a long time ago, and I think talking about anxiety, is somewhat therapeutic (at least it is for me) so hopefully my experiences, and knowledge will help someone else out there. Feel free to make comments, I enjoy the feedback.
I guess it would be best for me to start all the way back at the beginning. Sorry, this may take some time! I was born in August of 1976...wow, that makes me 35, YIKES! Anyway, I have one sibling, Todd..who is 10 months...yes, you read that right...10 months older than me. I don't really talk to my brother anymore ( more about that later). I lived with my parents, Pam & Jack, who were very young when I was growing up. I don't talk to either of them anymore either (seeing a pattern yet)? My parents were only 19 by the time my brother and I had entered this world, maybe that was part of the problem, but my parents were both very abusive. I remember a lot of it but my brother "claims" it was just normal parenting...I DISAGREE, but I guess we all deal with things differently. In our house there was always some sort of yelling, fighting, screaming, and hitting, but I never knew anything different so that was "normal" to me. Needless to say, it caused me a lot of anxiety...although, I had no idea at that time what it really was, but I can look back and see that I have had anxiety problems from a very young age, boy I had no idea what was to come........(to be continued)
Brandy......am I reaching you? I'm new @ this too.
ReplyDeleteYes, I can see u. I'm glad u are here :)
DeleteDear sweet Brandy.....how I love you so. I want to commend you for having the guts to come forward and share this with us. It will help you two-fold..cleansing your soul & purging all the negative thoughts and memories that contribute to your Anxiety/Panic, AND, perhaps you may be "that" person who connects with another who feels or shares your thoughts and feelings.We have discussed this before. So you are well aware that I too suffer from Anxiety/Panic disorder.This usually stems from a traumatic event...or a series of unpleasant events. True, also in my case. Without going into too much of my personal history...let's just say...I was affected miserably and will remain affected til the day I die. That being said,I can so relate to the episodes..as I have them still to this day. Since 1982....and as frequent as last night. I allowed someone to indirectly irritate me to the point that it affected me physically. To the point of a full blown attack. My own fault...and I am claiming it as such. NO ONE should ever be allowed to push you to that point. However I am the only one who could've prevented it. Easier said than done. I do not want you to feel ashamed, we are only two of millions who suffer from this disorder. However most suffer in silence because they are ashamed...or afraid of being ridiculed by others. Alot of people share the belief that Anxiety/Panic is "all in your head". To that I will respond by saying BULLSHIT !! I get so pissed off when I hear that. It is very real...and it is just as physical as mental. The symptoms are real and very frightening. So to those fortunate enough to have never suffered from anxiety or panic I say good for you....but DO NOT JUDGE ME !!! I think it is so completely misunderstood by most. And alot folks would be surprised to find out there is more than likely someone very close to them that is afflicted. We are not WEAK ! We are two very bright, beautiful women. I get easily offended by idiots who have zero knowledge of this condition...but are quick to judge!! WALK A MILE IN MY SHOES !And I might also add....it may not be a remark ..an attitude...a bad day...you never know when the next time will be. Yes there are contributing factors...but I have been as happy as a lark,cool as a cucumber and all of a sudden out of nowhere...BAM !! Full blown attack. That is the mystery and the misery of this affliction. My philosophy is to ELIMINATE the negative...and ACCENTUATE the positive. In all ares of my life. Focus your attention on your immediate family...your incredible husband and wonderful children that bring you joy.The ones that accept you and love you unconditionally. Find your peace from within....and practice methods to "bring you out of it".....I do....and it helps. I'm here for you if you need me.Love you.......
ReplyDeleteMy Dear Dear Miss Casey Jaye,
ReplyDeleteYou know I love you RIGHT BACK! Thank you for taking the time to write such a heart felt response. I absolutely agree with you that people who have never had an "attack" are very quick to judge someone who suffers with this, simply because they have NO idea what it's like. That is why I am, and will continue to put myself "out there" in order to help educate. This does NOT make us weak...in fact, quite the contrary. We wake up everyday, and face numerous fears, and we keep going. That's strength if I ever seen it! I also hate it when people say "it's all in your head" Yes, in part it IS in my head, because for GOD SAKES our mind has certain control over everything our body does, BUT this IS REAL!
I hope that my story, and the comments that are shared here, will reach others who really need it, and allow them to see that they are not alone! I LOVE YOU MUCH MISS CASEY ;)
Rite backatcha,dollface :)
ReplyDelete