Why am I doing this??

I debated for a long time if I should put my personal life on the Internet for everyone to read, and finally came to the conclusion (obviously) that however personal the details might be, IF what I have to say could help someone else then it would all be worth it....right? Well, at least I hope so.

I am not doing this for others to feel sorry for me I have been through a lot in my life, and God knows I DON'T need pity. I am doing this for 2 reasons.

 One, to help rid my mind of all of the negativity that I hold onto. I cannot change my past, but I sure as HELL can do my best to move past it, and not let it define me anymore. Some of this blog may come across like I am bitter, and angry...but, SO BE IT! To some extent I am still very angry. I do hold a lot of resentment towards my parents. To this day my mother will still not admit to being an extremely mean, and abusive person, in her mind a lot if it just "never happened", and to give my father at least some credit, he has apologized to me for how he was when I was younger, but it's hard for me to accept his apology considering he is STILL treating me the same way. That is why I finally had to walk away from both of my parents, and my brother for that matter. All 3 of them live in this world of DENIAL...if we ignore it, it will go away. Well, the only thing that did go away, was ME. I hung in there for 34 yrs hoping that someone....something would change....It didn't! I am always the family scape goat, everything is ALWAYS my fault. I believe that it's because I won't keep my mouth shut anymore, and the control and manipulation that my family uses no longer works on me.  So here I am, telling my story to whoever will listen....on the Internet.....what has this world come to? HAHA

My second reason for doing this is simple. I want to help other people. IF I can make a difference in someones  life, than it is in fact worth letting people read the story of my past. I have gotten quite a response already, and it makes me feel great. I very much appreciate the people who have reached out to me, and supported me to keep going. YOU are why I am doing this!